


2016 Bonesology Day In The Life Challenge

by mphs95



Series: Bonesology Challenges [2]
Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: 2016 Bonesology Day In The Life Challenge, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-07-28 08:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7632652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mphs95/pseuds/mphs95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of chapters covering minor characters in the Bones universe as they go through one day of their lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Joanne

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the premiere chapter of my story for the challenge. This one has Joanne, the waitress from 10 x 16: The Big Beef at the Royal Diner. I hope you enjoy and there will be more to come.
> 
> This chapter takes place the same day as 11 x 15: The Fight In The Fixer

            By 6:30 AM, the Royal Diner began to fill with the noise of folks who had early days ahead of them.  

            Joanne looked and observed saw the eclectic group of regulars and new folks.  For her, what was supposed to be a temporary job became her livelihood for the last eleven years. However, two years ago she got her courage up and started attending the University of the District of Columbia Community College part-time for Accounting.

            After serving breakfast to a snotty lobbyist, she looked over and saw Jessica Warren at another table with her head in two books while taking notes. Next to her to no surprise was her half eaten breakfast.

            Joanne admired the young woman.  The young redhead was so nice no matter what kind of day she had and had more than once assisted her with her chemistry homework this semester without scorn.  She tried to pay her, but was refused.  At her final attempt, the intern spoke up.

            _"You feed us at all hours and always know what we need. The least I can do is make sure you can balance a chemical equation."_

            A few days a week, the forensic anthropologist came to the diner for breakfast while doing research for her dissertation proposal.  When Joanne brought her coffee this morning, Jessica confided that she had to present her proposal to Doctor Brennan next week and was nervous.

            The waitress looked up at the clock.  _‘Any time now.’_  She thought to herself before she heard the bell. 

            Looking back, she saw a harried Agent Aubrey walk in.  He looked around for a second before immediately heading towards Jessica’s table.  With amusement, she observed him sit down with the girl oblivious to his presence before he smacked one of her books closed startling the redhead. 

            Seeing them laugh together, Joanne saw how crazy they were about each other.  It was obvious they were the best of friends, but even an idiot could see that there was more there than just friendship.  More than once, she would check on the two while they were talking about science fiction, medieval weapons, debating old horror movies, or other unusual topics. 

            Just last week, they came in for dinner before they went to a Star Wars marathon.  Only best friends could spend that much time together in one place…or a couple in love.

            _‘That Aubrey needs to make his move.’_   Joanne thought _.  ‘Just friends my ass.’_

            Then to her surprise, she saw the agent take the intern’s hand and interlock his fingers with hers.  As they continued to look at each other, Joanne realized that the agent did finally make his move.

            _‘About time, G-Man.’_ The waitress thought before she headed over to clean a nearby table.  As she got closer, she heard snippets of their conversation.

            _“Take a break, Jess and finish your breakfast.  You know you’re going to kick ass when you present this to Doctor B next week.”_

_“I’m glad you’re confident, but I’m not.  This is my future Aubrey and it has to be perfect.”_

_“Of course, I’m confident.  You’re literally the smartest person I know.  You’re hot, too.”_

Jessica laughed while her cheeks burned red. _“You’re just saying that because you like kissing me.”_

_“I do.  By the way…”_

            Joanne turned to see the lanky man stand up and lean across the table and give the girl a small kiss.  Yep, they were adorable.

            Finishing her task, she washed her hands before grabbing an empty coffee cup and a pot of fresh coffee before heading over to the two. Putting the cup down, she poured. "What can I get you, Agent Aubrey?"

            “Morning Joanne.  Can I get scrambled eggs, rye toast, bacon extra crispy, hash browns, a side of sausage links, and a fruit salad, please?”

            “You got it.”

            Joanne put Aubrey’s order on the spindle for Frankie.  Turning around, she watched as the intern leaned back roaring with laughter as the agent told a story.  It didn’t escape her notice that he still held her hand.

            “Young love.”  She said to herself before going back to work.

* * *

            Over ninety minutes later, Joanne came out of the back to see her favorite couple come in.  Grabbing coffee cups and coffee, she headed over to their table.

            “Good morning Agent Booth, Doctor Brennan.”  She said before pouring their coffee.  “You look excited but nervous.”

            “Christine’s first report card.”  Booth said.  “We haven’t looked yet because we got home late last night.”

            “I am highly anticipating what this says, Booth.”  Brennan said with a smile.

            The waitress smiled at the parents’ obvious excitement.  “Do you want your usuals or something different today?”

            “Mine would be good today, Joanne.”

            “That goes for me as well.”  Booth said.  “You look tired, Joanne.  Doing all right?”

            She smiled.  Not many regular customers take the time to ask how she’s doing.  “Up late studying for a test next week and I had to be here at 5:30 this morning, plus I’m working a double shift today.”

            “Ouch.”  Booth said.  “Well, if this report card as good as I think it is, we may just see you tonight.”

            “Fantastic.”  Joanne said.  “You know, you missed Agent Aubrey and Jessica about ten minutes ago.  He was here at 6:30 this morning to have breakfast with her while she was working on her proposal for you, Doctor B.”

            “Yeah, he’s been all ‘ _Jessica this’_ and _‘Jessica that’_ for the last week and a half when we’re not discussing cases or FBI related business.  I feel like I’m going to be sick at times.  Aubrey in love is…weird.”  Booth said.

            “Booth, when we got married, you kept going on for months about how life, food, and the atmosphere was better since we exchanged vows.  Ms. Warren’s work hasn’t suffered.  In fact she did an excellent job cataloging three sets of remains over the weekend.  I think Aubrey becoming her mate has made her more focused.  Cut him some room.”

            _‘Anyone else calling their boyfriend or girlfriend mate would be weird, but Doctor B says it like it’s the most natural thing in the world.’_   Joanne thought, ignoring the anthropologist’s incorrect use of slang.

            “That’s cut him some slack and you’re right.  You’re right.”

            “Of course I am, Booth.”

            Wanting to give the couple some time to look over Christine’s report card, Joanne topped off their coffees.  “I’ll go get your orders in.”

            When Joanne put the ticket on the spindle, she turned and watched them get excited as they read the card before they gazed at each other for a moment.

            Someday she wants a man to look at her like Agent Booth looked at Doctor Brennan. 

* * *

            At 10:30, Joanne noticed a very annoyed woman walk in and head to a table with a pile of folders.  After a second, she recognized her as an FBI behavioral analyst she saw occasionally with Agents Booth and Aubrey.

            Then she snickered as she remembered that this woman always flirted, or attempted to flirt with Aubrey but was always ignored.  A couple times she told Joanne she thought the agent would be _‘hot in the sack’_ and was determined to snag him.

            “Hey, isn’t that the analyst lady that’s always flirting with Agent Aubrey?”

            Joanne turned to Hilda.  “The one and only.”

            “She’s so obvious it’s pathetic.  He adores that cute redheaded intern from the Jeffersonian.  At some point, that twit has to realize that he doesn’t like her.”

            Joanne could swear she saw steam come out of Karen’s ears.  “Well, obviously someone has her panties in a twist.  Ten bucks says she asked out Agent Aubrey and he turned her down flat.”

            “No way.  He probably ignored her again.  She got like that the last time they were here after he left.  I’ll take your bet but forget the money.  Loser has to clean that stupid ass cappuchino machine later.”

            “You’re on.”  Joanne said before taking a full pot of coffee over to the analyst with a clean cup and saucer.

            Setting it down on the table, she spoke up.  “Morning Ms. Delfs.  It looked like you could use some coffee.”

            “Thanks.  I need it after dealing with that ass James Aubrey.”

            “Wow, what did Agent Aubrey do?”

            Karen turned to the waitress.  “I asked him to join me for coffee this morning while we were with Agent Booth in his office, but all he said was _‘I already have coffee.’_

Joanne hid her smile as Karen took a big drink of her coffee and continued to speak.

            “He is so dense, so I finally decided to ask him out, maybe take him for a test drive before I go to Kansas City tomorrow.  I mean he’s never mentioned a girlfriend or anything.  They’re obviously not serious if he’s never brought her up.”

            _‘She asked him out in front of another person?  She put the poor guy on the spot.’_   Joanne thought.  “I take it that it didn’t go so well.”

            Karen drank more of her coffee.  “He accepted, but while we were heading to question someone who knew our victim, he told me he _‘misunderstood what I was asking’_ and he couldn’t go out with me because _‘he was seeing someone.’_   I mean, that’s bullshit, right?  You don’t accept a date and then take it back.”

            Joanne knew Agent Aubrey always talked about Jessica when it wasn’t work or food related.  Seeing the analyst was waiting for her answer, she didn’t hesitate.

            “I think it’s BS to ambush someone by asking them out in front of another person.  Either they will look like an ass for embarrassing you or they accept to avoid embarrassing you.  Frankly, Agent Aubrey wasn’t the ass.  You were.  More coffee?”

            Joanne ignored Karen’s mouth open in shock as she poured the drink.  “Now I’ll come back to check on you in a few minutes.”

            The waitress walked back behind the counter and put the coffee back on the warmer.  Turning to Hilda, she smiled.  “Glen is leaving at 3:00 today, so you may want to get the parts back there by 2:00.”

            “Damn.”  Hilda said before heading to check on her tables.

            Joanne grinned as she saw the analyst spread files out on her table with a very irritated expression on her face.       

* * *

 

            After breakfast died down, Joanne snuck a break in the office to study for her Chemistry exam next week.  Thanks to the tips Jessica gave her, she understood the chemical reactions much easier.  Hilda would grab her when she needed help.

            "I don't get why I have to take a science glass to get a damn Accounting degree."

            “Joanne!  We have customers!”

            The blonde shut the book.  “I’m going Frankie.  Geez.”

            Looking at the owner as he cooked, she knew his bluster was just that.  He was a softie but would die before letting people know that.

            Coming out, she saw Doctor Hodgins, Ms. Montenegro, and their son enter and her stomach dropped.  Things between the couple have been tense since the man’s injury back in December and he became paralyzed.  The good doctor was now snippy, dark, and at times plain ass belligerent.  Worst of all, he was so mean to his wife, who was the sweetest person ever.  More than once, she could see Angela had tears in her eyes from her husband’s latest outburst.

            While the woman told her one day that things would get better once her husband adjusted to being in a wheelchair, Joanne wasn’t so sure.  Her former husband liked to take his frustrations out on her, too, but used his fists sometimes instead of his mouth.  That is until Frankie went after him one day and offered her a place to stay and a full time job until she got back on her feet.

            She watched, hoping they would be different and head to Hilda’s section but of course, they went to their usual table…in her section.

            Joanne hurried over to take a chair from the table as quickly as possible to try to head off the scientist’s snarkiness.  When she got there she was shocked at what she heard.

            “Hey Joanne.  How’s the world of our favorite waitress today?”

            She turned and saw Doctor Hodgins with a big smile on his face, something she hadn’t seen in almost six months.  Warily, she returned the grin.  “Busy but good.”

            “How’s the studying going for your exam?”

            Joanne visibly relaxed.  “Well.  Jessica helped me with the reactions I have to memorize.”

             “Well, if you need any more help and Jessica is busy, let me know.  I know I’ve been…” Hodgins said before shifting in his wheelchair.  The waitress could see what looked like guilt in his eyes.  “…unavailable of late, but things are getting easier now.”

            “I will remember that, Doctor Hodgins.  Thank you.” 

            “Oh, by the way, Brennan may be out of sorts when she comes in for lunch later.  Doctor Wells tricked Hodgins into testing Christine’s report card for fraud.” Angela said.

            “Wait, the tall, snotty geek with the frizzy hair?”  Joanne asked.

            “That would be Oliver.”

            “What an a—“Joanne said before turning to Michael Vincent.  “Butthead.  Young man, what are you doing out of school?”

            “Half day today.  Daddy said since I’ve been so good lately that he would take me here for lunch.”

            “Well, I’m glad to see you, too.  Michael Vincent.”  The waitress said before noticing Angela’s diamond bracelet.  “Wow, Angela.  When did you get that?  It’s stunning.”

            “Hodgins gave it to me.”

            “And it was worth every penny.  Angie deserves it for being the most understanding and forgiving wife ever.”

            “It wasn’t necessary, Hodgins—“

            “Yes, it was.”  He said.

            Wanting to end the impending awkwardness, Joanne turned to the boy.  “So, a big chocolate milk for you, right?”

            “Yes ma’am.”  Michael Vincent said.

            “Coffees for both of you?”

            “Yes, please.”  Angela said.

            “Coming right up.”  Joanne said before walking away.

            After pouring the drinks, the waitress put them on a tray.  Turning around, she saw the family engaging and laughing together.  Something she hadn’t seen in a long time.

            _‘Good for them.’_   Joanne said to herself before walking over.

* * *

            Joanne was putting fresh apple pie in the display case when she watched Doctor Saroyan walk in with her boyfriend.

            She had to admit, they were a couple she didn’t see getting together.  After the anthropologist left, the pathologist would still come in, but she was quieter and had sadness in her eyes.  Yeah, she was dating the photographer for a while, but it wasn’t the same.  It was obvious that these two got back together recently as they were here more frequently and the doctor had a spark in her eyes again.     

            After filling a carafe with hot water, she put a pot of coffee, tea bags, and two cups on a tray before heading over. "Good afternoon Doctor Saroyan and Mr. Vaziri."

            Realizing her error, Joanne corrected herself.  “Excuse me, Doctor Vaziri.”

            “No problem, Joanne.”  Arastoo said.  “I’ll take tea—“

            “With two bags.  Got you covered.”  The waitress said as she put a carafe of hot water next to his empty cup.

            “You know me too well.  If it wasn’t for the fact I’m madly in love with Cam, I would marry you in a heartbeat.”

            Joanne laughed as she poured Cam’s coffee.  “You sweet talker, you.  Sure you don’t want to give him up?”

            Cam drank her coffee.  “No, he’s mine, but Doctor Wells is still single.”

            Joanne thought of the arrogant intern.  “A shocker.”

            The three had a quick laugh before the waitress spoke up.  “What can I get you?”

            “Some of Frankie’s awesome apple pie.”  Arastoo said.

            “Fruit salad.” Cam ordered.

            “On it’s way.”  Joanne said. 

            After giving the salad order to Frankie, Joanne checked on her other tables.  As she got to her last one, she saw the two men give disparaging looks to Doctors Vaziri and Saroyan.  Then she noticed the Trump hat one had on the table.

            _‘Great.  Ignorant rednecks.  My favorite.’_ She thought before putting a fake smile on her face.  “So what can I get you guys?”

            “Maybe get that Iraqi Muslim trash out of here.  He’s ruining my appetite and my friend’s here.”

            This wasn’t the first time nor the last time she would deal with idiots like this. 

            “He’s not Iraqi but Iranian.  Try to keep that straight.  Also, he is Muslim, but he’s been also an American citizen for several years.  It seems he has more education and manners than you’ll ever have.  Now we have a policy here at the Royal Diner.  No shirt, no shoes, and bigots get no service.  Either follow those rules or you’re out of here.”

            Joanne put a couple of menus down.  “I’ll give you a few minutes to decide.  I’ll bring you folks some water.”

            When she turned around, Hilda was trying to not laugh.  When she got to the counter, she looked and saw the two men leave.  Frankie also saw them walk out as he was putting Cam’s fruit salad on the counter.

            “Joanne, what the hell?”

            “They were saying ignorant stuff about Doctor Vaziri.”

            “You told them the rules?”  Frankie said.  When his waitress nodded, he softened.  “Good.  I don’t need trash like that in my diner.  Make sure the good doctor gets extra whipped cream on his pie.”

            “You got it.”  Joanne said.

            When Frankie disappeared, the two waitresses looked over at the couple.  “Think those two will ever get married?”  Hilda asked.

            “Yes, I do.”  Joanne replied as she saw Cam giggle at something Arastoo said.

            “I hope the boy plans to wait a while.  That Doctor Saroyan is not the marrying type.”  Hilda said.

            “Everyone’s the marrying type, Hil.  Just have to find the right one.”  Joanne said before grabbing Cam and Arastoo’s orders and bringing it to them.

* * *

            At 6:30 PM, Oliver Wells walked in to pick up his to go order.  Today he was able to prove Doctor Brennan’s daughter was not all that and he got her to record a new voice mail message later.  Yes, he was the best and it was about time Doctor Brennan realized that.

            Walking up to Joanne and Hilda, he smiled.  “Hello, ladies.  Picking up my dinner, please.”

            Annoyed at his stunt with Doctor Brennan, Hilda looked at him.  “Your name, sir?”

            “You need my name?  I come in here all the time.”

            “Name, please?”  Joanne said with sweetness in her voice.

            “Fine.”  Oliver said.  “For Wells.”

            Hilda got the bag with his name on it.  “$8.75.”

            As he was digging out his money, the two women looked at each other.  When Hilda collected the cash and gave him his change, Joanne jumped in and spoke in a low voice.

            "Oh, Doctor Wells, we heard about what you did to Christine's report card this morning. If we ever find out you do something so childish again, we'll make sure every meal, every drink, even any condiment you order here will have something extra special in it."

            The color drained from the polymath’s face.  “You wouldn’t…”

            “We would.”

            “I’m going to report this to the owner.”

            The ladies smiled.  “This message is from the owner and he’s in the back right now if you want to talk to him.”  Joanne said before making her voice normal again.  “Have a nice day and come again.”

            Oliver gulped before he took his bag in a hurry.  The ladies watched as he walked out quickly and stopped outside the window.  He opened the bag and looked inside.  When he looked up, the waitresses just smiled and waved before he ran away.

* * *

            Finally 9:00 PM arrived and Joanne was updating her relief on the day when she saw an obviously upset Aubrey come in and sit at the counter.  She was itching to punch out and leave but she couldn’t do it.  Walking over, she grabbed a coffee cup and poured him some.

            “Evening, Agent Aubrey. Want some pie a la mode with the coffee?”

            “No thanks.  I’m not hungry.”  He said in a dejected tone.

            The young man was always hungry, so Joanne knew this had to be serious. "What's wrong, Agent Aubrey? You look like you lost your best friend."

            She watched as the agent fidgeted while remaining silent.  “You know, I’m sorry.  It’s none of my business.  I’ll let you be.”

            She took two steps when he spoke up.  “I-I got some news about my father today and I don’t know how to tell…”

            “Agent Booth?”  Joanne asked as she returned.

            “No, I’ll tell him tomorrow.”

            Joanne’s heart broke for the agent as she could see whatever it was hurt him very much.  She knew he was the son of that Wall Street guy that ripped people off and then left his family broke almost nineteen years ago.  Then the light bulb went off and she realized who he was talking about.

            “Jessica.  You’re afraid to tell Jessica, aren’t you?”

            Aubrey could only nod in reply.  “She’s my best friend and I’ve told her things I’ve never told anyone else, including Booth.  If this was a couple of weeks earlier I wouldn’t care.  However things are different now.  Last week, we…well she and I…more she started it…we…”

            “Are obviously more than friends now, right?  It took you long enough.”

            Forgetting his pain for a moment, Aubrey looked up.  “What? How did you know?”

            "You were holding her hand at breakfast this morning."  Joanne rested her arms on the counter and saw the agent's ears turn red. "You don't think we haven't noticed the way you two always looked at each other when the other wasn't looking? Or how you always let her eat off your plate unlike the time I saw you try to stab Doctor Hodgins with your fork for taking one of your fries? How at least once a week, you come in here at like 6:30 AM just to have breakfast with her? It was obvious the first time we saw you two together that you had a massive crush on her and she did for you."

            “Well, I liked her…a lot.  We…”  Aubrey said, feeling at ease.  “I tried to kiss her last week, but it didn’t turn out so well.  I finally got to a couple days later.”

            “I take it there were some sparks?”

            Aubrey nodded as his ears turned red again. "You could say that."

            “Can I offer some advice?”  Joanne replied.  When the man nodded, she continued.  “Tell her, Agent Aubrey.  Trust is important to two people in love.”

            “Love is a pretty big step and we’re not there yet.”

            "Okay, like, strong feelings, whatever." Joanne said. "When I'm trying to tell you is if she finds out from someone else, it will hurt her. Let her be there for you, okay? You're not going to regret it. In fact, knowing her, she's at home working on that dissertation proposal again and I'm sure that girl could use a break. What better way than to see you and help you?"

            Aubrey smiled.  “You’re right, Joanne.”

            "Of course I am." She said. "Now, will I see you two here tomorrow morning?"

            "Yeah, probably. Thanks, Joanne."

            “You’re welcome.  Now get out of here so I can go home.”

            “Oh crap.  Sorry.”  Aubrey said before chugging down his coffee and throwing two dollars on the table and giving her a five.

            “What’s this?”  She asked.

            "Your tip. You earned it. Now take it and I'll wait for you so I can walk you to your car.  It's getting dark out."

            “You don’t have to do that—“

            “My mother raised me to be a gentleman.  Don’t make me disrespect my mom.”

            “Fine.  I’ll be right out.”

            Five minutes later, Joanne emerged with her coat and the two walked to her car.  When she started her car, she waved at the agent before driving home.

* * *

            One hour later, Joanne was brushing her teeth thinking about her day at work.  When done, she spit and got into bed.

            Her days at the diner were long and hard. The days she also attended classes were almost like a second job. However, today was one of the good days. Any day she got to interact with the lab group always made things better. Slowly, she became a small part of their world.

            One day, she would earn her Bachelor’s degree.  Then, she wouldn’t be able to see them like she did.  However, she was still working on Frankie getting a full time bookkeeper.  Maybe she’ll still be around to see Christine, Michael Vincent, and Hank grow up.

            Maybe she’ll be around when Jessica comes in wearing a beautiful diamond ring courtesy of Agent Aubrey.  No, a ruby or something non-traditional.

            Maybe, Doctors Saroyan and Vaziri will take that plunge someday.

            Maybe, one day Doctor Hodgins will walk into the diner again instead of in a wheelchair.

            Maybe, Oliver Wells will get his shit together and learn respect for others.

            Maybe, just maybe, the Brennan-Booth clan will have breakfast with grandchildren in tow.

 

            Setting her alarm, Joanne got into bed, turned out the light, and went to sleep.                  


	2. Agent Thompson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brings us Agent Ted Thompson, an original character first seen in my first Bones fanfic, Silence is Golden. I debated on which intern to use before deciding to use both Daisy and Jessica. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> If you want reference, you can check out SIG Chapter 26 on Fanfiction.net, where the character is introduced. He's mentioned in a few more chapters until the end.
> 
> This takes place sometime after 11 x 17: The Secret In The Service.

            Agent Ted Thompson arrived at a park on the Anacostia River, annoyed to be at a multiple body crime scene at 5:30 AM.  Getting out, he chugged a drink from his coffee, locked the door, and walked towards the area.  When he got there, he focused his brown eyes around until he saw Daisy Wicks there. 

            Five days earlier, he tried to get her phone number while she was processing a crime scene they were at together.  To his surprise, she turned him down flat and walked away.  In his experience, single mothers were sure things.  She should be grateful a man as handsome as him would consider spending time with her.

            Pissed off at her indifference, he turned around only to be confronted by a tall, skinny man with red hair wearing a Jeffersonian jumpsuit in front of him shooting daggers.

            _“Back away, trogdolyte.  She’s not for you.”_

            He didn't see the tall guy around, so maybe today, he would wear the anthropologist down.  Surely, she needed to get laid at some point and honestly so did he.  When he would younger, he could always count on a willing female, but now it was getting tough.  Besides, women his age weren’t as firm as the younger ones.

            All the available female agents thought they were better than him, but he knew he could do better.  Working that same scene, he observed that the females from the Jeffersonian were mostly hot and had potential.

            Heading towards Daisy, he was stopped by Agent Booth’s voice.

            “Thompson, interview the people that found the body.  I’m going to talk to the squints to see if they found anything so far.”

            Keeping his annoyance in check, the agent relaxed.  “Yes, Agent Booth.”

            Stymied in his pursuits, Agent Thompson headed over to the fidgety group by the trees.

* * *

            Fifteen minutes later, the agent finished talking to the witnesses while biting his tongue.  He didn’t get how five people in the same place could have totally different descriptions.  It was plain ass annoying.

            Looking back over to the body site, he saw Daisy with another person working on the body before she stood up.  As she walked away, she held what looked like a bone.  He headed to follow her when he saw the remaining person lift her head and turn.

            The red hair was striking with her pale complexion.  Slim and very beautiful.  Definitely doable.

            He watched the squint talk to Doctor Brennan and Doctor Saroyan before the two other women left.  Reaching into a case, she pulled out a few items and bent down to where the body was lodged in several inches of dirt.  He saw her look up and talk with one of the other Jeffersonian squints and she had a killer smile.

            Forgetting about Daisy, he walked up to the girl and saw she was about to stand up.  Rushing over, placed his hand around her arm and pulled her up.

            “Excuse me.” The woman said in a borderline hostile tone.

            Thompson gave the young woman what he called his _‘panty dropping’_ smile.  “My apologies.  I thought you could use some help getting out of there.”

            The redhead brushed off her pants.  “Thank you, but I could have got myself up.  Please don’t sneak up on me or other women like that.  We really don’t like that kind of surprise.”

            The agent watched as she walked to a nearby table and grabbed another tool before heading back to her place.  Walking closer, he stood by her.  “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.  Are you new?”

            “No, I’ve been an intern with the Jeffersonian for over two years now.  You haven’t seen me because Agent Aubrey usually works with Agent Booth on our cases.  Unfortunately, he’s on temporary desk duty until next week.  I’m assuming you’re going to be working under Doctor B’s husband for this case.”

            The agent bristled as he knew that his SAC would take lead.  Other SACs barely stuck their nose in.  Why couldn't Seeley Booth be one of those?

            “That I am.  If you don’t mind me saying, you don’t look old enough to work for the FBI.”

            The woman turned to him with faint annoyance.  “Contrary to your opinion, I’m 28 years old and will have my Doctorate in Forensic Anthropology in less than 2 years.  I also hold two bachelor degrees, one of them in Forensic Science, and a Masters in Anthropology.”

            “That’s a lot for a pretty girl like you.”  Thompson said while flashing the same smile.  “I’m Agent Ted Thompson in case you were wondering.”

            Jessica looked at him but didn’t crack even a grin.  “I wasn’t, but good to know.  If you don’t mind, I’m very busy right now, Agent.  Doctor B likes us to be through but efficient.”

            He knew he was getting the brush off, but he wasn’t deterred by her cool indifference.  “Of course.  I hope to see you again.”

            The intern merely tipped her head.  “I’m sure you do.”

            When he saw her turn away to continue her work, Thompson walked over to the lead FBI technician.  “Hey Marcus, who’s the hottie over there?”

            Marcus looked in the direction being pointed to.  “That’s Jessica Warren, one of Doctor Brennan’s squinterns.”

            Thompson smiled.  “Jessica Warren, huh?  I wouldn’t mind getting into her Jeffersonian jump suit.”

            “I’ve heard she has a boyfriend in the Bureau, Ted.  Might want to rethink that.”  Marcus replied.

            “I heard nothing about a boyfriend from her.  Damn, there’s something about those redheads—“

            “Agent Thompson.”

            The federal agent turned around to see Temperance Brennan standing there.  “Doctor Brennan, what can I do for you?”

            “Please don’t waste my interns’ time in the future.  Ms. Warren and Ms. Wick have important work to do and should not be distracted by your attempts at flirting.  Do it again and I will have to file a report with Agent Booth.  Understood?”

            Thompson seethed internally.  Years ago, he tried several times to get somewhere with her, but his SAC constantly cock blocked him.  Now they were married and she always acted like she was better than everyone else here.

            “Sure Doctor B.”

            “That’s Doctor Brennan to you.”  Brennan said before turning to the other man.  “Marcus, it’s nice to see you back at work.  The woman who was interim team leader in your place the last couple of weeks left something to be desired.”

            “It’s nice to be back.  Thank you for that email you sent on Monday of your observations while I was on sick leave.  The matters you brought up will be taken care of.”

            “You’re welcome.  I will let Booth know also but we are taking the body back to the Jeffersonian for examination.  Good day, gentlemen.”

            Thompson watched her walk away.  “She’s always got a stick up her ass.”

            “Agent Thompson.”

            The man froze as Marcus walked away to the nearby van out of the line of fire.  Turning around, Thompson saw Agent Booth standing there with a pissed off look on his face.

            “Let’s get one thing straight.  You’re only on this case because Hacker is running our division while Stark is at a conference this week.  That means you appreciate where you’re at and treat all colleagues, including the squints and squinterns, with respect.  You don’t have to love my wife, but you will not make derogatory comments about her because she wants to ensure the integrity of the crime scene.  Understood?”

            _‘Man, he’s pussy whipped.’_ Thompson thought.  “Yes, Agent Booth.”

            “Good.  Now get your notes to Agent Aubrey and follow up with the squints this afternoon.”

            “Asshole.”  Thompson muttered as his boss walked away.  Deciding to give the redhead his phone number, he turned around but only saw the man she called Wendell.  “Damn.”

            Well, at least he had a name now and knew where she worked.

* * *

            An hour later, Agent Thompson arrived on the 4th floor of the Hoover.  The closer he got to Agent Aubrey’s office, the more annoyed he became.

            He had twelve years in the Bureau compared to Aubrey’s seven.  However, when Agent Booth had to appoint someone as his ASAC, he chose the scrawny little shit that kissed his ass when he returned after prison.  He was only a Senior Special Agent like he was, but he always had something to say like he was important.  Unfortunately, he had to wait for Aubrey to screw up before getting his office and becoming Booth’s ASAC.  

           As he got closer to the agent’s office, he heard him on the phone.  Listening, he could tell Agent Aubrey’s wasn’t happy.

            _“He hit on you?  That rat bastard.  I’m going to kick his ass…what do you mean how?  I’m an FBI agent…so what?  I have one good foot and ankle.  My crutches can compensate…of course I trust you to take care of yourself…no I’m not jealous.  I just don’t like assholes hitting on my girlfriend.”_

            Thompson attempted to hold a chuckle as he continued to listen.

            _“The doctor said I’ll probably be off the crutches by Saturday.  No, I didn’t tell Booth what happened.  Anyone who asks I tell them I tripped over Skinner in the middle of the night.  We are the only two who know…well, us, my cat, and the shower.”_

            There was a moment of silence before Aubrey spoke up again. 

            _“Okay, okay I’ll let you handle it, but if he pulls anything, one of my crutches is going up his ass or I’m shooting him…Honey, I’ll take the suspension.  That way I can spend more time with you to make up for spraining my ankle over the weekend…yeah, you better get on the platform.  Still on for lunch in my office?  Awesome…yeah, I love you too.  Bye.”_

            Thompson was trying to control his laughter when he heard Aubrey.  “Thompson, you can quit eavesdropping on my phone calls.”

            Biting his tongue, the agent went in.  “Here is a copy of the notes from the case.  Booth said—“

            “Booth already briefed me before you got here.  He wants you to follow up on the eyewitness accounts as soon as Angela gets an identification on our vic.”

            “I’ll call her and tell her to get a move on it.  I’m not sitting around all day waiting for squints.”

            “You will wait as long as it takes because there’s a reason they’re the best.  You call and harass them, I will encourage them to file a report.”

            “What the hell am I supposed to do then?”

            “Well, your job, Agent Thompson.  There are other leads to follow up on.”

            Thompson wanted to punch the younger agent, but kept his wits about him.  Turning, he was almost out of the office when Aubrey stopped him.

            “By the way, Doctor Brennan called and informed me that you enjoy flirting with the squinterns.  Don’t.  You’re there to do a job, not score with any available female.  Now get out of my office.”

            Thompson walked out and headed to his desk in the bullpen.  Getting on the computer, he typed for a few minutes until he found what he was looking for.  “Bingo.”

            Grabbing his phone, he started sending a text. 

            _Hey it’s Agent Thompson.  Sending cell phone # & ext.  Call me l8r & we can go 4 drinks._

An hour later _,_ he got a response.

            **_How did u get my #?_**

Thompson sent the following response.  _FBI DB.  Now when do u want 2 go 4 drinks?_

            Thirty seconds later, he got a response and he had a flash of annoyance.

            **_No drinks. Not interested. Have a bf.  Don’t txt me again._**

Then a second message came.

**_This is Daisy Wick.  I'm not interested either._ **

Thompson smiled.  “I don’t give a shit about that Daisy anymore and you’re playing hard to get.  Red, I’ll have you in bed by the end of the week.”

* * *

            At 12:00 PM, Thompson arrived at the Jeffersonian for an update.  First he went to Angela’s office, where she was still trying to ID the victim though the items found at the scene.

            “The body arrived here at 7:30 this morning.  I thought you were some super genius with facial recognition.”

            The woman turned around annoyed.  “I’m doing the best I can with what I have.  You don’t have to be a dick.”

            “Just get it done.  I have a case to solve.”

            Angela gave a fake smile and spoke with a sarcastic, saccharine tone.  “If you think you can do better, get your ass over here and do it, Agent Thompson.  Otherwise, get the fuck out of my office until you get some manners.”

            Leaving the artist’s office, Thompson asked a tech who showed him where the Ookey Room was.  Entering, he saw Hodgins looking at results from the GCMS.

            “Okay you wife gave me zero.  What about you?  You’re supposed to be a science genius and I’ve got a case to solve.”

            Hodgins turned his wheelchair around.  “I’m still examining evidence and nothing new has come up since you called an hour ago.”

            “Great.  Leads are going to dry up and it will be thanks to all of you.”  Thompson said before storming out.

            Halfway towards the exit, he saw the redhead coming out of what looked like a locker room with her purse.  Walking over, he turned on the charm as he grew closer.

            “Hey there, Red.  Heading out for lunch?”

            “Nope, going to my second job as a stripper, Agent Thompson.  Bye.”

            “Very cute, Red.”  Thompson said.  “How about we hit the diner for lunch?  My treat.”

            “No thanks.  I am bringing my boyfriend lunch and running an errand.  Excuse me.”

            Thompson blocked Jessica’s way.  “What about drinks tonight at the Founding Fathers?”

            “How about you take a hint that I’m not interested.  Now back off.”

            “Agent Thompson.”

            The two turned to the side to see Cam Saroyan standing there.  “Jessica, Doctor Brennan let me know that you’re taking a longer lunch today since you were called in on your day off to the crime scene.”

            “Daisy and I appreciate the long lunches today, Doctor Saroyan. Daisy went to have lunch with little Lance and do a couple of errands.”

            “Not a problem.  We’ll see you two later.”

            “Thanks.”

            Thompson watched as the object of his lust walked out, admiring her long legs with her knee length dress.  His thought were interrupted by Cam.

            “Agent Thompson, let have a chat in my office, shall we?”

            “Sorry Doc, I have a case to work.”  Thompson said.

            “As do I.  We either talk in my office, or I call Agent Booth and talk to him.  Your choice.”

            The agent knew he was stuck so he reluctantly followed the pathologist to her office.

* * *

            At 7:00, Thompson was finishing up his work for the day when he saw Agent Aubrey limp into Booth’s office.  When he was done a short time later, he walked over to the cabinet as he was looking for a file and listened in.

            _“Booth, I’m going to kick his ass.”_

_“Didn’t your girlfriend ask you to let her handle it?”_

_“She did and I showed restraint all day.  I know she could kick the shit out of him and she told me earlier that she took care of it.  However, if he does anything else, I’m going to do something about it.  Besides, if it happened to Doctor B, would you just her ‘handle it?’”_

_“Shut up, Aubrey.  Moving along, as long as you are 100% recovered and get the Aircast off, you’re back to full duty next week.”_

_“Thank God.  Stuck in the office sucks.”_

_“Well, serves you right for tripping on your cat.  How the hell do you do that?”_

_“It happens, Booth.  Now, let’s finish up here so you can go home and I’ll be ready when my girlfriend comes and gets me.”_

_“Hopefully she won’t find out that you haven’t been using your crutches all day, Aubrey.”_

            _‘Pathetic’_ Thompson thought before deciding on one last cup of coffee.

            Grabbing his cup he was almost there when he saw Jessica head into the break room.  When he got in, he saw her take a bag of chips out of the machine and go to the fridge for a bottle of water.  “I knew you couldn’t stay away.”

            Jessica turned around an scowled at him.  “I’m here to snag a bottle of water and take my boyfriend home, not to see you.  Excuse me.”

            Thompson stood about two feet in front of her.  “Not until you agree to go out with me.  You won’t regret it.”

            “I’m regretting this conversation now.  I will ask you one more time.  Get out of my way and leave me alone unless it’s a work related manner.  If you don’t, I’m going to kick your ass.  Then, my boyfriend will kick your ass.”

            “I do like a feisty woman.”  Thompson said before walking closer and placing his hand over hers on the counter. 

            Not even a second later, a sharp pain hit him in the genitals.  When he doubled over, he felt her hand holding his head and couldn’t stop her knee from connecting to his nose.  Pulling his hand away, he saw blood gushing into his hand.

            “You bitch!  You fucking hit me!  I’m calling the cops.”

           _“Don’t even think about it or I’ll shove one of my crutches so far up your ass it will come out your mouth.”_

            Inching his way around, Thompson lifted his body up while holding his nose down.  In his view was Agents Aubrey with an ankle cast on his left foot and Booth with his arms crossed.

            “What the fuck, Aubrey?  Do something.  She hit me.”  Thompson groaned.

            Aubrey hobbled over to Jessica, his left foot _‘accidentally’_ stepping on Agent Thompson on the way.  “Very sorry about that, Ted.”

            Thompson could only watch in shock as Jessica kissed Aubrey.  “See, Aubrey?  I told you I could handle myself without you resorting to being suspended.”

            “Yeah, you were right.  Those older brothers of yours showed you some good moves.  Like how you broke his nose with your knee, Jess.”

            “Thank you, Superman, but don't forget I had almost broken yours several weeks ago.”

            “Wait.”  Thompson said while holding his nose.  “Aubrey’s your boyfriend?”

            “He most certainly is.”  Jessica said before looking at Aubrey.  “Boyfriend, where are your crutches?”

            “Really?  You just beat the crap out of an agent who was sexually harassing you and all you care about is where my crutches are?”

            Jessica crossed her arms.  “Yes.”

            Thompson watched the two bicker for a moment before he felt a tap on the shoulder.  Turning around, he saw the annoyed face of his SAC.

            “We’re going to have a nice chat about sexual harassment and then tomorrow we’re going to make arrangements for you to attend a fun class for several weeks.”

            “Booth, she broke my nose.  I need medical attention.”

            “Well, I need to go home to my family but your stupid ass has messed that up for me.  In my office now, Agent Thompson.”

            “Just a second please, Agent Booth.”  Jessica said before coming closer.  “Daisy wanted me to give him a message.”

            Turning to the injured agent, the redhead spoke.  “Daisy said to tell you that if you hit on her again that she’ll take the bone saw from the lab and castrate you in your sleep one night.”

            “What the fuck?  Booth!  She’s threatening me.”

            Booth shrugged his shoulders.  I didn’t hear any threats.  Aubrey, did you hear any threats?”

            “Not a one, Booth.”

            “Sorry Ted, no proof of a threat.”  Booth said.  “Now, I have to call my wife and let her know I’ll be late.  Be in my office in five minutes.”

            “Fine.”  He said before Booth stormed back to his office.  As she shuffled slowly away in pain, he could hear Jessica and Aubrey’s conversation.

            _“Go without your crutches again and I’ll tell everybody how you really hurt your ankle, Aubrey.”_

_“You wouldn’t.”_

_“I would.  It’s called tough love.”_

            As Thompson made his way to Booth’s office, only one thought raced through his mind.

            _‘Stay away from the women of the Jeffersonian.’_  


	3. Caroline Julian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a different idea about Caroline Julian but JAG'ed Bones in the Casckett at FF.net suggested I do a continuation of sorts of Chapter 2. Of course, it was genius, so I went with it. Hope everyone likes the results.

            It was a muggy Tuesday morning as Caroline Julian drove her Gremlin towards the US Attorney’s office on 4th St.  It was her first day back after visiting her daughter in Massachusetts.  As much as she missed her, crime and justice called her name back to D.C. just like it had for the last 32 years.

             As she waited at the light at H Street and 6th, she noted that it was over 3000 miles since the last oil change.  After she did a mental recall of her calendar for the next two weeks, she made a note to call that cutie pie Wendell Bray.  He always did her oil changes for $20.00 while checking everything.  When the light turned green, she moved forward before thinking about what Booth told her she missed while gone.

            Caroline lamented her dear Aubrey stuck on desk duty due to a sprained ankle.  Even more, she felt Booth’s frustration at Hacker taking advantage of Deputy Director Stark’s absence and assigning that good for nothing Ted Thompson temporary duty with Booth.  While a good agent, she didn’t like his sexist attitude and his pathetic attempts to pick up anything young and female.  

            She also had a bone to pick with the agent for his behavior with Jessica Warren and the other female intern from the lab during his temporary duty with Booth.  However, she was content to let things lie when Booth told her about Aubrey’s squintern beating up the agent in the break room when he wouldn’t leave her alone.  That last part had her cracking up for several minutes. 

            “What’s that other annoying squintern’s name again?  It was a flower.  Rose?  No.  Lilly? No….Daisy!  That’s it.”

             Turning her fans on full blast, she lamented the fact that her air conditioning didn’t work half the time.  For years, people told her to update her car, but it was her first car and she wouldn’t give it up.  It got her to classes at LSU in the worst of times, to begin her career in Washington DC in the best of times, and it was paid off.  Yes, it wasn’t cheap to repair it after the accident she had, but some things were worth the money.

            Besides, people who criticized her car were obviously jealous of her leopard print seats.

* * *

            Less than thirty minutes later, Caroline grabbed a cup of coffee in the break room before heading to her department’s weekly meeting.  Going inside, she wasn’t surprised to see the newest AUSA in their division, Alyssa Newman, fawning over their unit chief Matthew Thomas.

            “Ahhh, the little bonne a rienne is active at all hours of the day,” Caroline muttered.

            She settled in as her usual spot as her colleagues all came in with their coffee and took their seats.  When everyone was settled in, the attorneys started going over their cases.

* * *

            An hour later, the meeting was adjourned.  As Caroline gathered her items to go to her office, she was stopped by her Unit Chief.

            “Caroline, I would like Alyssa to be your second on the Goddard case.  I think she could gain valuable experience from you and offer new insight.”

            _‘Like I’m sure she offers you on her knees, Matt,’_ Caroline thought.  Looking at the young woman, she wasn’t born yesterday.  She knew the ambitious woman was after her job as liaison to the Homicide/Major Crimes Division of the FBI.  Deciding to let the air out of the associate’s head, she spoke up.

            “Sure, why not?  After all, the girl has a lot to learn.” 

            “Good, good.”  Matthew said before walking out.

            The young woman turned to Caroline.  “Ms. Julian, I’m honored to have the opportunity—“

            “Can it, little porro.  We both know you want to replace me as the Major Crimes liaison.  However, it ain’t happening any time soon, so you might as well stop kissing up to Matthew…and any other parts of him you’re kissing.”

            Alyssa’s face turned red.  “Well, I—“

            “Now, your little coquettish flirting and flashing won’t get you anywhere with me.  However, if you want to work with me and learn something, you better open your eyes and ears, be ready to move on the quick, and start wearing panties under those too tight skirts.”

            The young lawyer’s eyes bulged wide.  “That is none of your—“

            “It is my business if you come with me to court.  Now, I need more coffee.  Be in my office in ten minutes ready to go over the Goddard case.”

            “Matt—Mr. Thomas and I have already reviewed the case.”

            Caroline smiled.  “You haven’t reviewed the case to my satisfaction.”

            The attorney couldn’t hide her smile as the young woman turned beet red before she walked out the door.  Relaxing her shoulders, she grabbed her files and coffee cup before heading out.

            “Today is going to be a good day.”

* * *

             Ninety minutes later, Caroline was enjoying a well-deserved beignet when she got a phone call.  Seeing it was Aubrey, she picked up the phone.  “You know better than to call me during my beignet break, Skinny Mullet.  Now, what’s so important you interrupted my special time?”

            The US Attorney listened, her face becoming more horrified as Aubrey talked on the phone.  “Cher, when did you find out?”

             _“Doctor B called as soon as she was arrested, but Booth and I were in Baltimore.  He’s trying to call in favors to get Jessica processed in time for arraignment in a couple of hours, but they’re still dragging their feet down there.”_

Caroline could hear the fear and helplessness in the young man’s voice and knew she had to do something.  “Cher, I’m coming right over.”

            Hanging up the phone, Caroline grabbed her purse and beignet before heading out of her office. 

            “Today is going to be a bad day.”  She said to herself.

* * *

            While driving, she called in a favor to push the paperwork through so Jessica could be arraigned first during the afternoon session.  After that, she made another phone call.

            _“Of course, Caroline.  Booth has the checkbook and he'll pay whatever is necessary.  I am tempted to find this Agent Thompson and, well, kick his ass myself.”_

            “Take a number, Doctor Brennan.  I’ll have your husband call you later.”

            After hanging up, she thought about the young anthropologist.  She admittedly had her doubts about Jessica Warren when she first sensed something brewing between her Aubrey and the squintern.  However, ever since the bombing she was happy to be proven wrong.  The fact that she beat up that sexist pig Ted Thompson made the redhead even more special in her eyes.

            Now, that young woman was in jail charged with assaulting a federal agent.  As far as Caroline was concerned, Agent Thompson needed to be squashed like the bug he was.  No woman should be punished for defending herself.

            As she arrived at the Hoover, she got the phone call she was waiting on to hear who had the case.  When she heard the name, she growled to herself before ending the call.

            “Why am I not surprised?”  She muttered as she got to the elevator.

* * *

            Almost ninety minutes later, Caroline and Aubrey were with Booth when he posted the squintern’s bail.  The three then waited a short time in the pickup area when the door opened.  A pale Jessica came out holding her items taken in an envelope.

            The attorney watched as the anthropologist ran into Aubrey’s arms and they held on for dear life.  Suddenly, Caroline felt guilt over the background check she had the agent do several months earlier as it was obvious that the two loved each other very much.  While the young woman had done some daring things in her past, she never went to jail and couldn’t even imagine how terrified she must be right now. 

            “It’s okay, Jess.” Aubrey said as he pet her hair and held her as she cried.

            “No it’s not, Superman.  He had me arrested at the lab for assaulting a federal officer.  This could ruin my career.  I just wanted him to leave me alone!”

            “Don’t worry, Jessica.  We’re going to straighten this out.”  Booth said.  “Come on.  We’re heading back to the Hoover.”

            “Yes Child, we will straighten Agent Thompson out.”  Caroline said.

* * *

            A short time later, the four returned to the 4th floor with Caroline holding a copy of the arrest reports and statements.  By now, the Homicide/Major Crimes Division heard what went down with Agent Thompson and Jessica’s arrest during the morning.  A few colleagues stopped to ask the young woman how she was doing, but Caroline could see the toll the morning took on her.

            “Cher, why don’t you two go into your office for a while, okay?”  The attorney said to Aubrey.

            “Good idea.  Come on Jess.”  The agent said before taking his girlfriend’s hand and leading her along. 

            They were two yards away when they stopped.  “Booth—“

            "Don't worry about the case, Aubrey. You're needed elsewhere." Booth said.  When the couple disappeared, the agent started to pace. "That son of a bitch!"

           "Did you track down Agent Thompson?" Caroline said. "Over my dead body is that girl going to jail for trying to protect herself."

            “He’s currently unavailable as he’s with HR and then he has to get a recheck with Medical since his injuries are _‘work related._ ’”  Booth said with quotations at the last two words.

            “His nose can wait.  Call Human Resources and tell them I want him up here after his meeting.  If they balk, I’ll go down there and drag that sorry piece of crap up here.  I don’t like agents who waste my time, Cher.”

            “You got it, Caroline.”  Booth said, a look of relief on his face.

            “Now, I need coffee while I go over the arrest report and your scrawny partner better not have eaten all the donuts again.  I’ll see you in the conference room.”

            Booth smiled before walking towards his office.  Caroline headed to the break room, grabbed some coffee and the last donut, and walked back towards the conference room.  As she walked by Aubrey’s office, she noted he pulled the blinds down for privacy.

            “Good boy.”

* * *

            Thirty minutes later, Caroline finished the file as she was in the conference room and looked up to speak with Aubrey, Jessica, and Booth.  “While breaking his nose with your knee could be seen as excessive, the fact he followed you to work and around here screams sexual harassment.  The government doesn’t have a case.  I sure as hell wouldn’t push this case.”

            The attorney turned to Booth.  “Cher, when does that other squintern get here?”

            “Daisy had to drop Lance off at the Jeffersonian Day Care, so she should be here any minute,” Booth said before looking out the window.  “Speak of the devil.”

            Daisy jogged through the bullpen, almost knocking over an agent before entering the conference room.  When she entered, she immediately went to her friend.  “Jessica are you all right?  I can’t believe that prickburger Thompson had you arrested.  Where is he now?”

            “At HR, but should be here anytime.”

            “Enough with the squintern chit chat.”  Caroline said.  “Now Ms. Wick, what did he do with you?”

            Daisy sat down in a chair.  “A couple weeks ago we were both at the scene of the Snyder case.  He kept following me around, asking how my life was with a son, my social life, how I was too pretty to be working for the FBI, and flirted with me, but it was so gross.  Then he asked for my phone number.  I couldn’t believe he thought I was interested.  All I did was look at him and walk away.”

            Daisy giggled.  “However, I heard Oliver, I mean Doctor Wells, tell him,  _‘Back off troglodyte.  She’s not for you.’_ ”

            “I still can’t believe Oliver said that.  He likes you, Daisy…a lot.”  Jessica said, her first laugh in several hours.

            “I told you, Jessica there’s no way in hell I will date that man.  He’s insufferable, arrogant, and snotty.  At least Aubrey was cute when he would come by the lab after the Hayes Robertson case.  Everyone could tell he had a crush on you--“

            “Enough!”  Caroline said, ignoring the agent whose ears and cheeks turned red.  “You two gossip about boys and whatever else you two talk about later.  Hear me?”

            “Yes, Ms. Julian.”  Jessica and Daisy said together.

            “Good,” Caroline said before she saw Booth biting his lip.  “Now what do you think is so funny, Seeley Booth?  I’ve got stories about you and your doctor that would put these two to shame.”

            “Nothing.”  Booth said.

            “I thought so.” Caroline said.

            The US Attorney had finished speaking when she turned and saw the man in question enter the bullpen with the AUSA assigned to the case.  She smiled brightly when she noted the injured agent's face and limp.  

            “Ginger squintern, I am impressed.  You kicked that crapeau’s ass.  Getting this bon rien will almost make up for cutting into my beignet time.”  

            A few seconds later, Agent Thompson entered with AUSA Alyssa Newman, who had a look of surprise.  

            “Ms. Julian, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.  I was under the impression I would be speaking to Agent Aubrey and Booth before interviewing Ms. Warren in holding as she awaited bail.”

            “My wife and I posted Jessica’s bail at arraignment.”  Booth said in a hostile tone.

            “You didn’t expect me?  You should have,” Caroline said before indicating to Jessica and Daisy.  “I was just having the most enlightening chat with these two intelligent ladies.  They had some interesting things to say about your Agent Thompson here.”

            “Asking for a phone number and being persistent does not justify Ms. Warren assaulting a federal agent.  That’s not something I take lightly,” Alyssa said.

            “No, you shouldn’t.  Nor should you blow off the two eyewitnesses to the incident, Agents Booth and Aubrey,” Caroline replied saucily.

            Alyssa’s back straightened.  “I won’t, but the word of the defendant’s boyfriend and his boss, who happens to be the husband of Ms. Warren’s immediate boss, doesn’t hold as much weight as say, an independent witness.  Criminal Law 101, Ms. Julian.”

            “Maybe talking to this young woman may help.”  Caroline said as she indicated Daisy.  “Ms. Wick is also an intern at the Jeffersonian and his attentions were unwanted as well.  Proper questioning when determining whether to press charges against a defendant is also Criminal Law 101, Ms. Newman.”

            “Well, I will talk to her—“

            “Also, the head of the lab, Doctor Camille Saroyan is willing to stipulate that the plaintiff hounded the defendant at her place of work asking for a date multiple times, even after she stated she had a boyfriend and was not interested.  I’m sure we can get ahold of Doctor Oliver Wells and ask what he saw when you were trying to charm Ms. Wick here.”

            “Jessica Warren assaulted me here in this building.  Let’s not forget that,” Agent Thompson said.  “I don’t have time to be PC all the time, particularly to oversensitive, prissy bitches like those two over there.”

            “You son of a—“Aubrey said while standing up on his still sore ankle.

            “Sit down, Agent Aubrey!”  Caroline said forcefully.  She needed her Skinny Mullet to keep his cool, even with the bag of shit in front of her and heard Booth whisper,  _‘Settle down, Aubrey.  You’re not helping Jessica right now.’_  

            However, it was Jessica’s hand Caroline saw rubbing up and down Aubrey’s right arm that that seemed to get through.  When the young man sat down, Caroline stared down the agent and AUSA.  

            “Ms. Wick, please describe your interactions with Agent Thompson for the last couple of weeks.”

            When Daisy repeated her experiences, Caroline turned to Jessica.  "Ms. Warren, tell the nice US Attorney what happened the night you hit Agent Thompson and what happened this morning.”

            Jessica took a breath.  “I came here to pick up my boyfriend—Agent Aubrey around 7:00 PM because he injured his ankle several days ago.  When I got here, I knew he was in a meeting with Agent Booth, so I stopped in the break room to snag a bottle of water and a bag of chips on my way to wait in his office.  I was bending down in the refrigerator when he said, and I quote,  _‘I knew you couldn’t stay away.’”_

Caroline listened as the intern recalled the events five days earlier.  She was positive she saw a quick smirk on the agent’s face before he contorted in pain to her delight.  Her inner giddiness changed when she heard about Jessica’s arrest.

            “I was rearticulating a skeleton when two agents came in and told me I was under arrest.  I was read my rights as I was handcuffed and practically dragged me out of there.  Doctor B and Doctor Saroyan said they would get Aubrey and Agent Booth down there as soon as possible.  Of course, they didn’t know the two in Baltimore questioning a witness.”

            “No, they didn’t, Child, but I think Agent Thompson here did,” Caroline said as she opened the file.  “I know when these two left the building because I was talking to Agent Booth when they got on the road.  According to this report, Agent Thompson reported the assault less than ten minutes later.”

            The seasoned lawyer looked up to see two very angry FBI agents staring down Agent Thompson and a young US Attorney turning a sickly pale before turning back to the agents.  "Agent Booth, tell us what you saw the night of the incident."

            “Agent Aubrey and I were walking to the break room when we saw Agent Thompson talking to Ms. Warren.  A second later, we heard her tell him to leave her alone or she would hit him to get away if needed.  He instead walked closer and grabbed her hand.  Quickly, Ms. Warren kneed him in the groin before using her knee on his nose.  It was all self-defense, Ms. Newman and I will testify to that in court.  My wife may be her mentor, but I’m not going to perjure myself so Bones can keep her intern.”

            “Bones?”

            “Doctor Temperance Brennan, his wife.” Caroline said before turning towards the two squinterns and spoke.  

            "Ladies, you have the right to file sexual harassment charges against this agent since you were working as contractors for the FBI.  I would recommend it for both of you so Agent Thompson can’t railroad Ms. Warren.”

             The US Attorney held back her smirk as she saw she had the young lawyer internally debating.  “The defense will also love it when the assault goes to trial, wouldn’t you say, Alyssa?”

          “No, because there won’t be a trial.  I’m moving to have the charges dropped immediately.”

            “What!  You can’t do that?”  Agent Thompson bellowed.  “She broke my fucking nose and it hurts when I piss.  She assaulted me.”

            Alyssa turned to the agent.  “After you cornered Ms. Warren after several threats to leave her alone.  You touching her hand could be construed as battery which gives her the right to defend herself.”

            Pointing to Aubrey and Booth, she continued, “These two agents witnessed the incident…”

            Finally indicating Daisy, she finished with, “…and you clearly exhibited the same behavior with this intern a short time before.  Technically, Ms. Warren could file charges against you.”

            “But—“

            “Drop it, Teddy.  You aren’t going to win,” Booth said before turning to the squinterns.  “Ladies, do you want to report instances of sexual harassment?”

            “Hell, yes.”  Jessica and Daisy said at the same time.

            Booth turned back to Agent Thompson.  “Now, I was originally going to send you to the mandatory sexual harassment training and put a note in your jacket.  Since this incident I felt more action was necessary.  So when we returned from bailing out Jessica, I called and scheduled a hearing tomorrow where I’m going to recommend a minimum suspension of 90 days without pay along with the seminars.  Also, you will be transferred out of this unit immediately.  Aubrey?”

            Aubrey slid a slim folder down the table.  “Here is your new assignment.  Start date is to be determined based on what is decided at the hearing tomorrow.”

            Agent Thompson slowly opened the folder and his eyes bulged.  “Are you fucking kidding me?  The Marquette, Michigan satellite office?”

            “The U.P. is a lovely place…but the winters are a bitch.”  Jessica said.  “Did you know there’s only roughly 330,000 people up there while roughly 10 million live in the Lower Peninsula?”

            “This is bull.”

            “No, this is called handing you your ass on a platter, Agent.”  Caroline said.  “Keep your hands and your mouth to yourself next time.”

            A few seconds later, the attorney watched with glee as the agent stormed out, followed by her colleague.  Turning to the group, she spoke up.

            “You all owe me a beignet.”

* * *

 

 

             The last few hours of her day was spent at her office going over cases.  At 6:00 PM, Marcellus and Keith Hunter showed up for their study session.  As it was winding down, there was a knock at the door.  Looking up, Caroline was surprised to see Alyssa Newman.

            “Boys, I think we can stop tonight.  You both did really well.”

            “Thanks, Ms. Julian.”  Marcellus said.

            “We’ll wait out in the lobby for you.”  Keith said.

            “Boys, I will be fine.”  Caroline said, but she knew their weekly battle was lost.

            “Ms. Julian, we go through this every week,” Keith said.  “You tutor us here in your office, we walk you to your car at night.

            Caroline secretly loved how these boys were protective of her.  “Oh fine.  I’ll see you there in a few minutes.”

            When the boys walked out, Caroline put her game face on.  “Shut the door, young lady.”

            Alyssa did and then turned around.  “Ms. Julian, I’m sorry…”

            “Sorry doesn’t feed the bulldog.”  Caroline replied before looking at her watch.  “Now, I’m supposed to meet the lab people, Aubrey, and Booth at Founding Fathers in fifteen minutes.  Say what you have to say.”

            The young woman gulped.  “I should have delved further before arranging a warrant for Ms. Warren’s arrest.  You were awesome today.”

            “I know that.  I’m always awesome.  Tell me something I don’t know.”

            Alyssa sat down.  “I…I have a lot to learn apparently about this job.  No way am I ready to be the liaison to Homicide.”

            “Yes and yes.  Your point, young lady?”

            Caroline stared down the young lady as she waited for her to speak.  She was shocked at what she heard when she did talk.

            “I have a lot to learn and I want to learn from you.”

            The veteran attorney took a drink from her water before setting it down.  She debated for a moment as she remembered what it was like to be looked down upon for her gender as she started out in her career.  Since her bullshit detector picked up sincerity, she decided to give an inch.

            “If you are serious, I will help you, but you’re going to have to work for it.  You’re not going to sleep your way to the top on my watch, pischouette.  However, if I even suspect you’re trying to undermine me, I will squash you like a bug without hesitation.  Understand?”

            “Yes, ma’am.”

            Sure she made her point, Caroline turned off her computer and grabbed her purse.  “Come on Ms. Newman.  I’ve got two fine men to walk us to our cars so I can get to the Founding Fathers.”

* * *

            Three hours later, Aubrey, Jessica, Daisy, and Caroline were at a table at Founding Fathers.  Booth and Brennan left early along with Cam, Arastoo, Hodgins, and Angela.

             “Well, I have to head home so I can say good night to my son,” Daisy slurred slightly while finishing off her beer.  “Agent Aubrey, would you do me the honor of cabbing a flag for me?”

            “Sure, Daisy.  Come on.”  The agent replied before kissing his girlfriend.  “I’ll be right back.  Probably should make sure she can get into the cab.  Apparently she forgot Lance is staying with her folks tonight.”

            Caroline and Jessica laughed as they watched Aubrey and Daisy walk out the door.  Turning away, the lawyer took a sip from her beer.

            “I must say, Child.  I was impressed with the pretty colors on Agent Thompson’s face today.  His limping made it all better.”

            “I appreciate the compliment, but I don’t make it a goal to beat people up, Ms. Julian.”  Jessica said before drinking her beer.  “Thank you for helping me today.  I know I’m not your favorite person.”

            Shocked, Caroline just looked at the redhead for a moment.  “Young lady, when did you get that impression?”

            “When you had Aubrey run a background check on me back in November when you just wanted him to know about my past,” Jessica said before taking another drink.  “I was going to tell him about that stuff, you know.  I just wanted to wait until I knew where we were going together is all.”

            Caroline felt guilty as she realized how closely Jessica took her actions to heart.  “Honey, I didn’t do that because I don’t like you.  I did that because back then Aubrey was set on running for Congress.  I wanted him to have all the facts.”

            “Why?”  Jessica asked.  “We were just friends.”

            “No you weren’t.  After that Robertson case, I know that boy made it a point to get updates in person at the lab, but it was no coincidence that it was always when you were there.  Nor was it a coincidence that when the lab had something to report when you were working, you always made it a point to call Agent Aubrey.”

            “We barely knew each other at the time and I wanted Doctor B and Doctor Saroyan to see how serious I was about my work…”  Jessica said, unable to avoid blushing. 

            “Then after the Hodsell case, you two were always together.  Yes, you were watching science fiction television instead of what normal couples do when they date, but it was obvious there was more to you two than TV buddies.”  

            The attorney finished her drink.   “I’m just glad you two got your you know whats together.”

            When Aubrey came back in and arrived back at their table, Caroline grabbed her purse and stood up.  “It’s been fun kids, but I need to go home.”

            “I’m ready whenever you are, Aubrey.”  Jessica said before turning to the attorney.  “We’re just walking back to his place tonight.”

            “I’m about done here.”  The agent said as he finished off his draft.  “Where are you parked?”

            “Two blocks away, but let me give you children a lift.”

            Both smiled before Aubrey spoke up.  “Thanks.  I’ve always been curious about the inside of the Gremlin.”

            “Well come on you two.  I haven’t got all night.”  Caroline said before the young couple followed her out.

* * *

            Ten minutes later, the Gremlin pulled up in front of Aubrey’s brownstone.  Caroline watched as Aubrey extricated his tall body from the front seat before helping Jessica out of the back seat.

            “Cher, I thought you were moving into Booth and Doctor Brennan’s house?”

            “I am next month.  I think Skinner will appreciate the yard more than my apartment.”

            “You and your cat.”  Caroline said with derision.  “Good night, children.”

            “Good night, Caroline.”  Aubrey and Jessica said.

            The attorney watched the young couple hold hands as they went up the steps before Aubrey let them into the building.  When they were inside, she smiled before putting the car into gear and driving away.

            _‘Today was a good day.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonne a rienne = a good for nothing or promiscuous woman  
> bon rien = good for nothing or lazy man  
> porro = wart  
> beignet = sweet square-shaped doughnut sprinkled with powdered sugar.  
> crapeau = a booger  
> pischouette = runt/little person  
> Skinny Mullet = a skinny person


	4. Oliver Wells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to do an Oliver story for quite a while. His demeanor between 11.15 and 11.19 was an almost complete 180, so I've touched on what I think happened to facilitate that change. I have also taken a bit of creative license, but I don't think anyone will care.
> 
> Rated T and up.
> 
> Enjoy folks.
> 
> Takes place during 11.19: The Head in the Abutement

            On Monday, May 13th, Oliver arrived at the employee parking garage of the Jeffersonian Museum and pulled into a spot.  Turning off his vehicle, he sat for a moment trying to get his nerves to relax.  No way would he show that he was nervous on his first day back at the lab.

            Today marked the end of the 30 day suspension from the Medico-Legal Lab Doctor Saroyan gave him for stealing Christine Booth’s report card from Doctor Brennan’s office and tricking Hodgins into analyzing it.  For the last month, he has been off except for his one week rotation in Cultural Anthropology and then was banned from the lab that week.  It annoyed him during those seven days when Doctor Edison always let him know that he was head of the department and that he, Oliver Wells, was a mere student.

            Oliver thought about how the lab must have suffered without him.  He was so valuable because he was not only Doctor Brennan’s intern, but also a part time intern to Doctor Hodgins, a spot he rotated with Jessica Warren and Wendell Bray.  Just last week, Jessica took his place with Hodgins when a camera crew was there filming for a documentary on the lab.  Even Doctor Vaziri got in on the action and where was he? 

            Stuck documenting remains from a Neanderthal while Clark was interviewed for the documentary.

            Seeing the time, he took a deep breath.  He quickly mentally rehearsed the cover story he created to cover his other time.  Grabbing his work bag and lunch, he climbed out of the car, locked it, and started walking towards the entrance.  He got three steps and stopped in his tracks.

            At two o’clock to his right, Daisy Wick was helping her son out of her minivan.  With a grace he would never possess, she was able to effortlessly walk her son, carry what looked like a backpack on her shoulder with another bag with letters and numbers on her other arm.  Before he could stop himself, he moved forward.

            “Daisy, let me carry something for you.”

            He watched as she turned around, shocked.  “O-Oliver.  Did you really just offer to help me?”

            Inwardly, he groaned.  He usually didn’t lower himself to help others as he was better than the rest.  However, ever since Doctor B’s bachelorette party he uncharacteristically always had a soft spot for the petite woman.  Only to himself would he admit it hurt when she got back together with that dork FBI profiler Lance Sweets again.  While he was genuinely sorry Doctor Sweets died, the fact that Daisy was single was an appealing fact.  That he would keep to himself also.

            "Yes.  I do try to be nice and helpful.  You look like you have your hands full.”

            “I do.  Um, sure.  You can take Lance’s bag.  I have to take him to daycare first if you don’t mind.”

            “Well, I do, but I’m early for my shift at the lab anyway.” He replied in his usual snotty tone.

            “Thank you for breaking away from your busy schedule, Doctor Wells.”  Daisy said with sarcasm.  “Here.”

            Oliver caught the bag Daisy thrust into his arms and almost fell over.  With an effort he hid, he hoisted it over his shoulder and caught up with Daisy and her son.

            “So, ready for day care today, Lance.”

            “Yay!”

            The three walked in silence except for the toddler’s incoherent speak until they got to the Jeffersonian Day Care.  Daisy took the bag and turned to her son.  “Lance, can you say thank you to Oliver for helping us?”

            “Tank you.”  Lance said.

            “You’re welcome, young man.”  Oliver said.  

            “I’ll see you at the lab, Oliver.  I have to get him settled in,” Daisy said.

            The tall man started to walked away, but stopped.  “Wait, at the lab?  Why are you here?  You’re not scheduled.  This is my week.”

            Daisy turned around annoyed.  “I am grading papers for Doctor Brennan since I’m her TA for two of her entry-level courses.  She said I could use her office and take Lance to the day care, telling them I was working in the lab today.  Anything else you need to know?”

            Before he could respond, Daisy walked into the room in a huff.

            Oliver inwardly smacked himself for a moment before watching her in the room.  As Daisy was talking to a teacher, he realized he had a goofy smile on his face.  Quickly removing it, he walked to the lab, annoyed at getting soft.  For no one would he compromise his vast intelligence and abilities.

* * *

            Five minutes later, he walked into the lab and punched in.  He inhaled, taking in the aroma of the facility, a bouquet of formaldehyde, bleach, and other chemicals.

            Damn he missed this.  Cultural Anthropology didn’t have the excitement that was always here.

            As he got to the locker room, Jessica was walking out while putting on her badge to start her week with Doctor Edison.  He didn’t understand how such a flake like her got the respect of everyone here while he got bupkus. 

            “Ah, Ms. Warren, long time no see,” Oliver greeted, watching her lift her head up.

             “Doctor Wells.  It’s been so different without your hot air around here.”

            He missed his verbal sparring with her and a few others, too.  “I know you missed me and my vast intelligence, Jessica.”

            “Yeah, my 168 IQ missed your 160 IQ pretending you’re in Mensa.  Now, if you excuse me, Clark is waiting for me.  Bye.”

            Oliver was prepared for a retort, but then he saw Doctor Saroyan looking at him with her eyebrow arched.  He knew he was on thin ice, so he had to contain himself for a while.  If today was slow enough, he and Doctor Hodgins could sneak in a game of _Aerial Attack_ in later that morning.

* * *

            As Oliver finished his lunch in the upstairs break area, he heard voices coming up the stairs.  After a second, he recognized the voices as Daisy and Jessica.

            _“Thanks for grabbing me lunch, Daisy.  Aubrey’s busy with the case so he grabbed a quick bite with Agent Booth and Doctor B.”_

_“No problem.  I needed a break from grading Doctor B’s final exams for her Theory class.  Sorry Aubrey got busy with the case and couldn’t meet you.  How are the exams from her Human Origins class?”_

_“Not bad.  I got enough done last night so I can finish grading them tomorrow.”_

_“So…any plans with Aubrey later?”_

_“Playing some games before he makes missing lunch up to me.  He’s always so…through and considerate.”_

_"Don't you mean thoughtful?"_

_"No, through.  When he makes up dates with me, he always makes that extra effort to show how much he appreciates me and I appreciate that."_

            As the two girls got to the break area, they were giggling.  They stopped when they saw him stare at Daisy. 

            “Take a picture it’ll last longer, Oliver.”

            Embarrassed at being caught, the anthropologist stiffened his spine.  “I wasn’t staring, Jessica.  I was just in deep thought.”

            “Sure you were, Oliver.”  The redhead said with a knowing tone as the two girls sat on the couch and pulled out their lunches from the paper bag Daisy had.

            “Excuse me ladies.  I have to get back and do real work, not gossip.”

            Oliver got his stuff together, cleaned up, and left.  As he was going downstairs, he listened when he heard his name.

            _“Jessica, just when I think I know him as a jerk, he does nice things.  Today, he volunteered to carry Lance’s diaper bag to daycare for me when my arms were full.”_

_“Oliver Wells did that?”_

_“Yeah, Oliver Wells.  He’s nice to me sometimes, but I don’t understand why.”_

            The tall man was about to listen further when he saw Doctor Saroyan and Angela staring at him at the end of the stairs.  Knowing he had to finish separating the post and perimortem injuries for Doctor Brennan, he reluctantly left.

* * *

            An hour later, the anthropologist was settling in next to Hodgins as they prepared their drones to fly to the Anacostia River to search for Seth Lang’s head.  He was going to agree to a rematch of _Aerial Attack_ later, but this was much better. 

            His mission?  Find the head…get his lab mojo back.

            “Doctor Hodgins, I’m going to find the head first and then you’ll have to realize just how awesome I am.”

            Hodgins turned to the intern.  “Ahhhh, hot air.  The air conditioning always works better when you’re not talking smack you can’t back up, Oliver.”

            “Don’t be jealous because you know I’m right.  How about a friendly wager?  Say loser has to record a new voice mail for the winner?”

            The entomologist smiled.  “I’ve got an even better one.”

            Oliver heard him explain his idea and loved it.  “Oh I can’t wait to win and have you do that.”

            “It’s you that’s going to be stuck.”

            Confident, Oliver smiled.  “You’re on.  Commence Operation Anacostia Head Retrieval.”

            The two men started up their drones and watched them take off from the platform before going out the automatic doors.

* * *

            Forty minutes later, the two men were coming up short in their search for the head.  After a few minutes of smack talk, Hodgins figured out to try the bridge abutments.  It didn’t take long for Oliver to see the head.

            _‘That head is mine!  Suck it, Hodgins!’_   Oliver thought to himself as he stopped his drone over it.  “That’s it!  Next to the abutment, or what’s left of it.  I win!”

            Oliver’s celebration was short-lived as he caught on too late to Hodgins sneaking under him to get the object.

            “No, no what are you doing?  That’s my head!  I got there first!”

            After they bickered for a moment, to Oliver’s annoyance the entomologist successfully obtained the head with his drone.

            “Oh and now I am off to my triumphant return back to the lab!”

            The anthropologist refused to go down without a fight.  “You stole my head, Hodgins!  That’s my head!”

            “Snooze, you lose, Pal.”

* * *

            A short time later, Oliver and Hodgins were laughing at Aubrey’s embarrassment in front of Cam when the agent put his hands on his hips, showing his side arm as he stared the two men down.

            “You think that was funny, guys?”

            “Oh hell yes.”  The anthropologist said in between snickers.  “Considering you suggested giving us an intense spanking I think it’s very appropo.  Don’t you agree, Doctor Hodgins?”

            Hodgins stopped laughing as he saw Aubrey’s face.  “Ummm, I think I’ll stay out of this one, Oliver.”

            “Chicken.”  Oliver said back.

            “I’m hearing testosterone at play here.  What’s up?”

            The three men looked to see Jessica swipe her card on the platform while holding a skull.  Walking towards them, she set the skull down and gave Aubrey a kiss.  “Okay, boys, what did I miss?”

            “Nothing much.”  Oliver said.  “Your boyfriend tried to be uber tough with Cam and she knocked him down a peg or two.”

            “Sorry, Aubrey.”  Jessica said before seeing the drones.  “Holy shit, Curly.  Are these the drones you were telling me about earlier that found the head?  They’re just like the ones in _Aerial Attack_.”

            _‘Jessica knows games?’_   Oliver thought before speaking.  “Hold up.  You’ve played this game before?”

            “I’ve played a game or two with Aubrey.  Girls can be gamers too, Oliver.”

            “Wow Loverboy…playing video games with your girlfriend at your apartment.  That’s some hot stuff.”  Oliver said in a cocky tone to Aubrey.

            “We do a hell of a lot more than that.”  The agent mumbled before being smacked in the chest by Jessica.

            Turning to the redhead, Oliver spoke again.  “What happens when two play?  Does Aubrey jump in when you’re about to lose?” 

            “Oliver, some friendly advice.  Quit while you’re ahead.” Hodgins said.

            “Why?  Because this girl here thinks she’s good at video games?”

            “Is your genius smart, hot girlfriend good at games?”  Aubrey said.  “Oh wait, that’s me.  You don’t have a girlfriend, do you Doctor Wells?”

            Oliver’s ego ran rampant at the mention of his lack of female companionship.  “I have women readily available to me.  There’s nothing I can’t be the best at.”

            “That’s true.  You proved that by getting yourself suspended for a month for being a douche with Christine’s report card.”  Aubrey retorted. 

            Aubrey’s words reminded Oliver that so far no one cared to ask what he did during his time away from here.  Not once did someone mention how much the lab suffered without him or while he suffered for a week in Cultural Anthropology unable to go into the lab for any reason.  Fired up, he turned to the couple.

            “That was just politics and your Agent Booth getting pissed off because I got one over Doctor Brennan.”

            “Big talk for someone who almost got his ass kicked by Booth.”  Hodgins chimed in.

            Oliver didn’t like the reminder of the senior agent coming down to the lab and grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt.  Then, in front of the entire lab, he was dragged to his mentor’s office where he was forced to apologize to the agent’s wife.  Worst of all, then Cam suspended him immediately due to theft.

            “I don’t get my ass kicked.  I’m the one who kicks asses, with everything.  I can even kick anyone’s ass at _Aerial Attack_ , especially Jessica here.”

            Aubrey held back a smile as his girlfriend stepped forward.  “If you think you can kick my ass, put your money where your big mouth is, Doctor Wells.  I’ll definitely play you, anytime, anyplace.” 

            “You’re on Warren.  Tonight, 7:00 PM, Ookey Room.  You’re going to eat my game.”

            “Whatever, Oliver.  It’s going to fun taking you on and knocking your ego down.”

             “Well Oliver, if I’m going to get back here to watch my girlfriend hand you your ass on a platter, I should get back to the Hoover now.”

            Oliver was certain he saw the agent’s hand lower down the red-headed intern’s back towards her posterior for a few seconds before moving back to his side.  The smile on Jessica’s face confirmed it.

            “Walk me to Angela’s office so I can drop off this skull to her for Clark?  Then I’ll walk you down to the garage, Superman.”

            The two men watched the couple walk away towards Angela’s office.  Oliver had a moment of envy which was interrupted when he heard a snicker.  “What’s so funny, Doctor Hodgins?”

            “Dude, you are so screwed.”

            “Whatever.  She thinks she’s so much smarter than I am.”

            “Dude, she is.  168 is higher than 160.”

            “Once again, whatever.  I’m the one with the doctorates.”

            “Yes but you’re also 37 years old.  She’s 28 and already has two bachelors, a masters and should have her doctorate by the time she’s 30, the same number you have.  Plus I have a feeling that playing _‘a game or two’_ with Aubrey is more like several.  My conclusion?  You’re toast, Doctor Wells.”

            _‘Toast my ass.  I’m fucking brilliant.  I’m Oliver Wells, polymath extraordinaire.’_ Oliver thought to himself.  “As fun as this is, I have to go get a new blade for the bone saw and complete my work for Doctor Brennan.  Excuse me.”  Oliver said.

            “Toast!  Toast!  Toast!”  Hodgins chanted from the platform.

            Oliver turned around and flipped the scientist the middle finger before heading to the hallway of storage rooms by Angela’s office.  As he turned the corner, he thought he could hear heavy breathing.  As he got closer, he realized it came from one room in particular.  Then, he heard the voices.

            _“Damn it, Aubrey, your zipper is stuck.  We’ve only got about fifteen minutes.”_

_“Jump on the table.  I’ll get this.  Damn it, son of a—yes!  Now, where were we?”_

_“Getting my panties off me, Agent Aubrey for our first quickie at the Jeffersonian.”_

Oliver was making faces when he heard the voices again.

_“Just remember, when we celebrate you kicking Oliver’s ass tonight you promised….oh yes…to show me…God this feels good…how you…uhhhh…”_

_“How I…yes, Aubrey…examine bones…don’t stop, Superman…for Doctor…yes…yes…ummm what’s his name.”_

Feeling spiteful, Oliver banged on the door with his fist.  “People should be more professional at work, folks.  I don’t think sex counts.”

            _“Go the fuck away, Wells.  I’m armed.”_

            “Fancy talk for a federal agent.  Good day.”  Oliver said as he went across the hall to grab a blade. 

            As he came out, he saw Daisy standing there giving him a dirty look before walking back to Doctor Brennan’s office.  To his anger, her being upset at him affected him more than he wanted to admit. 

            _‘Some first day back.’_

* * *

            A while later, he and Doctor Brennan were going over the victim’s bones, comparing injuries in an attempt to find a murder weapon.  For several minutes, there as a comfortable silence as he was now plain ass mad no one asked him about his absence.

            Before he could stew further, Brennan spoke up, “So Doctor Wells, where else did you work besides with Doctor Edison the thirty days you were banned from the lab?”

            Oliver effortlessly told his cover story.  “Um, I did some work with an attorney I know here in DC.  I also did some consulting work with a professor I know at Georgetown.”

            “I see.  Which professor?  Perhaps I know him.”

            “Todd Andrews in the Chemistry Department.”

            Oliver waited for a moment but got no reply from the forensic anthropologist.  Realizing he was in the clear, he went back to his work, but the silence didn’t last long.

            “You worked with Doctor Andrews on campus?”

            “Yes, I did.”

            “What did you assist him with?”  Brennan asked.

            “Oh, grading his students’ final exams, helping him create new experiments for his classes next year.  Things like that.”

            “That’s very interesting, Doctor Wells.”

            Her tone had him suspicious.  “Why is that, Doctor Brennan?”

            “I was an undergrad with Todd at Northwestern and we’ve kept in touch over the years.  In January, he called me and we discussed his upcoming sabbatical until August.  He is temporarily working with the FBI to train laboratory technicians with new lab techniques.”

            There was a pregnant pause as a speechless Oliver tried to come up with something to say.

            “You’re very quiet, Doctor Wells, but that is to be expected when one is caught in a lie.  Do take care not to make up stories with me again.  Now, I need to call Booth.  Catalog the rest of the injuries and I’ll be back shortly.”

            Oliver watched as Temperance Brennan left the Bone Room.  He worked to control the blushing he was sure was on his cheeks.

            _‘Son of a bitch!’_

* * *

            Two hours later, Oliver came down from the break room after having dinner only to be greeted with Doctors Saroyan and Vaziri in an embrace outside the autopsy room.

            “You know Cam, any other office I would love to lock the door, lift you up against the wall, and make love to you.”

            “Well Arastoo, it’s understandable that a room where dead people go isn’t your ideal spot.  However, with your new part time position at UVA…”

            “Camile Saroyan!  I thought you were a professional.”

            “I am…here.”

            The two laughed together before holding hands as they walked out the door of the lab.

            _‘Disgusting,’_ Oliver thought to himself.

            He only got a few steps when he overheard giggling from Angela’s office.  Looking through the windows, his face contorted as he saw Hodgins and his wife making out in his wheelchair with the scientist’s hand in her blouse.  Shamelessly, he listened in on their conversation.

            _“So you said Aubrey and Jessica are taking you home tonight after the video game contest?”_

_“All taken care of, Angie.  You can get Michael Vincent and feed him dinner.  We can eat when I get home, probably about 8 – 9ish.”_

_“Sounds good.  So, after we put our son to bed, do you want to try those positions the specialist recommended?”_

_“Hell yes.  It’s been too long and I’ve missed you.”_

_“Me too, Hodgins.”_

Oliver saw Angela climb off from Hodgins before he hid away in a corner.  He watched as the couple were together until the exit doors when they kissed and separated as Angela left. 

            He was happy for his beard buddy, but at the same time annoyed.  Hodgins was in a wheelchair and still have ample opportunities.  However, Oliver had a dearth of loving in his life and being around it all the time on his first day back was starting to make him pissed off.

            _‘Well…maybe not a complete dearth…nope, not happening.  Going there would make him appear weak and he won’t stand for it.’_

            First Jessica and that Agent Aubrey, then Doctor Saroyan and her new fiance, then Hodgins and Angela.  What’s next?  Wendell and his nurse girlfriend?

            “Oliver, ready to get your ass kicked by Jessica tonight?”

            Hearing the voice, he turned around to see a smiling Wendell and Andie.  Stiffening his spine, he carefully retorted with, “So she’s played a few games with her FBI boyfriend.  Big deal.”

            The couple in front of him snickered before Andie spoke up, “A few?  Is that what Jessica told you?”

            “Like when we met up with them at his apartment last weekend before heading to the Nationals game?  They had a three hour marathon going on.”  Wendell said with a laugh.  “See you later, dude.”

            Oliver pushed down his feeling of dread.  To lose to that flaky redhead is not possible.  She conceded to have Hodgins’ bet honored with some assistance from Aubrey if she won.  To have to follow through is not an option.

            Needing a break from all the lovey dovey crap, he walked to the storage area to climb up to the balcony where he went for occasional quiet time.  It was going to be another hour before he would kick the squintern’s butt, but so far his first day back was a disaster, save beating Hodgins in the morning at _Aerial Attack_.

            As he was almost to the stairs, he heard noises from the storage room he caught Aubrey and Jessica at earlier.

            _‘Good grief, can’t those two have some decorum once in a while?  A little decorum goes a long way.’_

            Then he figured it would be fun to knock the woman off her game.  _‘A little edge never hurt.’_

Going to the door, he banged hard on it.  “For crying out loud, can’t you two screw at the FBI building?  Surely, there’s a storage room you can rip each other’s clothes off and interrogate one another or whatever weird sex game you two have planned tonight.”

            His feeling of triumphant remained until the door opened.  When he saw a disheveled Seeley Booth, he almost pissed himself.

            “What did you say to me, Oliver?”  Booth said as he advanced on the terrified anthropologist.  “You’ve got balls after the shit you pulled with Bones and my daughter last month.”

            Suddenly, Brennan appeared as she was pulling her shirt past her breasts.  “Booth, don’t hurt him.  We have to get home anyway and get ready for the rink.”

            To Oliver’s relief, Booth backed down and grabbed his jacket from the storage room.  “I’m watching you, Wells.” 

            The tall man watched the couple leave and didn’t relax until he heard the lab doors close.  Feeling nauseated, he walked to the steps towards the balcony.  He definitely needed to relax before his game later.

* * *

            Hodgins’s Ookey room had the two squinerns in the middle of a match while being cheered on by Hodgins, Aubrey, Andie, Wendell, and Clark.

            They were almost neck and neck when the redhead pulled an end run, causing Oliver to crash.  The tall man watched his player in Aerial Attack disintegrate in flames.  “No, no, no!  Son of a bitch!”

            “Aw, Oliver…you’re now barbequed.  I win!  Not too bad for a Level 42 pilot with all red gear.”

            “I demand a rematch!”

            “Like the one you offered me this morning?”  Hodgins said.

            Ignoring the scientist, he looked at Jessica, who was hi-fiving Aubrey.  “Rematch!”

            “Nope.  I won.  Now, Aubrey brought his guitar and Angela said we could use her office.”

            “I think we can negotiate here, Ms. Warren.”

            “Um, no.  Hodgins found the head first and I kicked your ass at Aerial Attack.  Now, get in Angela’s office.  The quicker you do this, the faster you can leave.”

* * *

            Two hours later, a tired and shamed Oliver walked into his apartment.  Feeling his phone buzz, he saw that his Twitter was lighting up.  Seeing one with a video from Doctor Brennan, he pushed it and instantly regretted it.

            It was his punishment for losing, a video recorded by a hysterical Hodgins of him singing Beck’s _‘Loser’_ wearing a big sign saying LOSER in front.  Aubrey and Andie were cracking up while playing the guitar and drum stolen from the Pop Culture exhibit.  Jessica, Wendell, and Clark attempted to be the cheerleaders from the original video, but couldn’t stop laughing. 

            Suddenly, every other tweet was the video being retweeted by others.

            “Son of a bitch!”

            He was about to toss his phone across the room when he felt another buzz.  Seeing it was a text with an unknown number, he checked it.  When he saw who it was, he was shocked.

            **_It’s Daisy. Cute video.  Glad u took yr cough med._**

Intrigued, Oliver responded.  _A bet is a bet._

Then he saw Daisy’s reply and he felt fluttering in his stomach.

            **_Yr not 2 bad guy when u r not being a douche._**

He didn’t know what possessed him to do it.  It was like his fingers had a mind of their own as he sent the reply message.

**** _Do u want 2 get coffee sometime?_

He spent the next five minutes on pins and needed alternating anticipation and annoyance for being as weak as the others today.  Then, he felt another buzz.

            **_Sure.  Tmrw, say 6:00 at RD?  Parents will have Lance 4 night._**

Oliver couldn’t explain the feeling of almost…giddiness he was having.  Never had a simple invitation made him feel all happy and…sweet.  He should be disgusted, but for reason, he wasn’t.

            _Cool.  C u then._

He waited for the text where she would cancel, but the only reply he got was the following:

            **_Good night, Oliver._**

After sending Daisy a text with the same request, he got up to get ready for bed.  As he brushed his teeth, one thing came to mind.

            _‘Maybe I need to be more humble with people at the lab.’_

            He considered that thought while he spit out the toothpaste before looking back up.  “Not everyone, just Daisy, Doctor Brennan, Saroyan, and Hodgins.  Maybe Angela.  The others can kiss my butt.”

            Oliver went to bed with a slight spring in his step, excited for the next day. 


End file.
